Excerpted from Al Maghrib Institute’s “Fiqh of Love” seminar with Shaykh Waleed Basyouni.
- Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it.
- If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.
- One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.
- It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.
- When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback can be distorted.
- The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.
- It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.
- It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with what you have.
- If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.
- Growing up in a happy household doesn’t ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.
- It’s never too late to repair damaged trust.
- The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.
- Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.
- Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.
- Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.
- One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.
- Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.
- Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.
- The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.
- Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.
- Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.
- Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you really want.
- Don’t neglect your friends.
- If you think, “You are not the person I married,” you are probably right.
- Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.
- Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.
- If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.
- Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.
- You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.
- Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.
- Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continous process.
- Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.
- Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.
- A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you’ve experienced in the past.
- Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.
- There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.
- One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is “How best can I love you?”
- Marriage can stay fresh over time.
- Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.
- Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.
- Good sex won’t make your marriage, but it’ll help.
- Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.
- Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.
- Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.
- If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.
- Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.
- The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.
- There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon.
- It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.
- If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.